I’ve spent a lot of time lately looking at blank pages. I honestly just haven’t known what to say and when I did, I had no idea how to say it.
My life is a tumultuous mess right now. I guess that’s how I’ll say it, what I’ll call the state of things for right now. That’s accurate enough. See, everything is on the edge of something happening. Everything is precarious, yet also a non-starter.
My boyfriend is here, but temporarily, and neither of us have any idea what the future looks like for him or for us.
My dream job is still deciding, but I know deep down no matter how much I “killed it” the chances are I probably won’t get it. (Meaning I’ll be back to the soul destroying experience of job-hunting, and also not be getting to opportunity to do something I love and something that would be a perfect fit).
Being unemployed and living at home, I’m stuck helping my dad at his company and slowly watching our relationship crumble because of it. (Never work for family, just don’t do it friends).
I’m just feeling like precarity and tumulty squared. That’s my existence right now. That’s my reality of late.